Stuyvesant wrote:Why, your conundrum with Egypt almost sounds like commentary on wars in that wider region in the last ten years or so... Nah, couldn't be: it's just a game, after all.
I do need to correct your statement: I sleep quite well (I am being prescribed medication for that). Instead it should read "All I need to do to Stuyvesant is mention Soviet Partisans or Kliment Voroshilov and he nearly has a heart attack at work."
Anyway, on to the update proper.
Stuyvesant wrote:So, is there anything you can do to influence the political system of Italy (pass reforms à la Vicky), or are you stuck with the situation the game sets you up with? I know you can play cards, but those seem like temporary bandaids, rather than permanent change.
Stuyvesant wrote:With your gunboats roaming the Nile, I now have the Madness song Night Boat To Cairo in my head.
The acumen of your business men is amazing. Are you sure they are importing rice? Is it coming from the Golden Triangle, by any chance? Or perhaps it's a tax scam, where they can deduct their import duties and essentially get free money from the Italian state? Or perhaps they really are just that daft...
Jim-NC wrote:You see the problem isn't the rice, it's the dancing girls that are delivering the rice. The rice is cheap, but the girls definitely aren't.
Dewirix wrote:That's a slanderous accusation - the rice is merely used as the centrepiece at elegant dinnner parties.
I'm also not convinced that the Swiss aren't just stringing loki along with this "strike" thing. I'm guessing they're trying to put a break on Italy's expansionist tendencies.
Jim-NC wrote:Maybe his merchants should try to trade some "rice" to those Swiss workers, they may get back on the job and start producing, or it could go all wrong, and the rice slows down procduction even more.
Gen. Monkey-Bear wrote:Yes, too much rice in the diet does tend to "slow things down"![]()
loki100 wrote:am impressed that Klim's boating trips on the Volga had such an impact ...
loki100 wrote:Pizza is invented ... and will be exported by the bayonets of the Italian Army
As to the petty tribal wars. Have you tried to make nice with them? A lot of tribal "wars" aren't really wars, but them not liking you. They will stop raiding your settlements when your relations with them get above 0. It's an undeclared war (as they don't declare on you, but only attack you for the fun of it), and you can't make peace. Just get good relations and they stop bothering you.
I think that, for once, the deployment of bayonets and artillery will not be necessary to spread this bit of Italian (gastro)cultural influence around the world. Fancy that: spreading something solely on the strength of its qualities, as opposed to the strength of the army delivering it.
Stuyvesant wrote:That motherf%$ing bas' should have DIED!! I had half of my army bug-hunting for him south of Syzran and Samara, I had him all encircled and then that dipsh%#t unholy demon spawn simply vanishes! RAAAAAAGH!!!
Ahem.
I will go take my medicine now...
Yes: there are Boers that will submit to Italian rule and then there are dead Boers. They just don't know it yet.
I think that, for once, the deployment of bayonets and artillery will not be necessary to spread this bit of Italian (gastro)cultural influence around the world. Fancy that: spreading something solely on the strength of its qualities, as opposed to the strength of the army delivering it.
Is it time to call it quits in Egypt yet, or are you made of sterner stuff?
Enjoy your trip to the Netherlands. I hope to be back there sometime next summer.
Jim-NC wrote:I noticed that your tropical fruits stocks are very low. It appears that your lack of chemicals may be impacting your food production.
As to the petty tribal wars. Have you tried to make nice with them? A lot of tribal "wars" aren't really wars, but them not liking you. They will stop raiding your settlements when your relations with them get above 0. It's an undeclared war (as they don't declare on you, but only attack you for the fun of it), and you can't make peace. Just get good relations and they stop bothering you.
Director wrote:Stuyvesant, I recommend dried frog pills. You can purchase them at any DiscWorld pharmacy.
Matnjord wrote:With the invention of The Holy Pizza you can finally start calling yourself a civilized country. That is all I have to say.
Edit: Actually no, I have something else
But how will Loki keep his army in prime readiness for war? How will he root out the weak from his men?
Seriously though, do these continuous wars actually have some sort of positive effect on your armies? Are your men getting more experienced, your generals more talented? Yes, I know, talented Italian general (at least one who actually gets to a proper position of command) sounds like a strange thing to say.
Yes, but he needs something to spread around the REAL pizzas, not the abominations that the Americans or the English pretend to call pizza.
Dewirix wrote:How does PoN handle the First World War? I'm guessing that there must be something scripted in there, but that might make things tricky what with your plans for war with the UK. Conversely, it could be a great opportunity, although you'd probably have to spend most of your time fighting France.
Sir Garnet wrote:Fighting pirates, rebels, and restive indigenes provides experience for the troops and for the commanders, but it is a slow accretion compared with the more dramatic jumps that are possible in great battles. Also, colonial one-star generals are not of much use in large battles, so the ambitious regular army officers may seek tours on the frontier to earn distinction and promotions (as well as increase their skills). In my China AAR (at Paradox - maybe it can be moved here) Guan Wen was OK to start but advanced to 5-6-3 over 10 years of mostly fighting Taiping rebels and then some splendid fighting in the Siberian War. Other commanders saw less action but also improved to some degree.
There are WW1 events, though Great Wars can always come early one or more times. Many game events give casus belli which the player can choose to pursue or not. Italy, for example, was wobbly historically and the events might allow it to stay out of a Great War around 1914 entirely, until ready to step in and decide the outcome.
Jim-NC wrote:I believe he has a DA with Belgium (the 100 relations). Also, the game doesn't always remove old factions, thus the Tuscans are ZOMBIES. This could explain the big militancy problems in the north, they are being overrun by the zombies. And Loki's government has sent away the army to some sunny locale, and stopped defending them from the zombies. It all makes sense now.
loki100 wrote:Equally I decide it would be fun to start poking a stick at the British. The chosen twig is to send merchants and missionaries to adopt new positions inside the British Empire.
Perhaps they were all ardently communist and misunderstood the 'Withering of the state' part?loki100 wrote:All the states I have, *ahem* eliminated, really like me for some reason. Maybe its because I have relieved them of all the burdens of statehood etc?
jokeon wrote:So what is wrong with all normal world activities ceasing to be reported?
Perhaps PoN needs "Royal baby" events?
Gen. Monkey-Bear wrote:What treaty is it that allows you them to return the province to you? (According to the map). Commercial or military or right of passage?
Stuyvesant wrote:So Egypt... To construct a tortured metaphore: when you thump someone repeatedly with a brick bat until their face is bloody, and then you say 'Oh, okay, just a bit of fun, no harm done, I'll stop now', they think you're super-awesome? Interesting - perhaps an extreme example of Stockholm syndrome?
Nice of the Belgians to hand back that territory. I guess they realized A) it's a fever-plagued bit of jungle anyway and B) no-one in their right mind wants to give the Italians any excuse to start another bush war.
Final observation: how on earth do you have such positive diplomatic relations with Tuscany? I was under the impression, erm, how to put this delicately... I thought Tuscany was done for. Taking a dirt nap. Sleeping the Big Sleep. i.e. being dead and non-existent.
Jim-NC wrote:I believe he has a DA with Belgium (the 100 relations). Also, the game doesn't always remove old factions, thus the Tuscans are ZOMBIES. This could explain the big militancy problems in the north, they are being overrun by the zombies. And Loki's government has sent away the army to some sunny locale, and stopped defending them from the zombies. It all makes sense now.
jokeon wrote:So what is wrong with all normal world activities ceasing to be reported?
Perhaps PoN needs "Royal baby" events?
Stuyvesant wrote:How did I miss this gem before? I'm sure that catholic missionaries adopting new positions inside the British Empire would be a highly effective tool at stoking British Jingoism - what with the prudish attitudes of the day (at least in public). Add in that it's the damn Papists at it again and I'm sure that Queen Victoria would utter her "We are not amused" line before sending in the red coats (with strict instructions to shoot anyone displaying so much as an ankle).
Perhaps they were all ardently communist and misunderstood the 'Withering of the state' part?
loki100 wrote:Up north, Egypt suddenly becomes very friendly. Yep, if anyone now tries to menace me, then they will have to answer to Egypt.
loki100 wrote:So, at this stage 2,584,096 Italians have died to enable Italy to rule the Eastern Mediterranean and most of East Africa. The British have managed to kill 2,784,870 of their troops achieving not very much (that is obvious in any case). My NM, not shown is 128, there's is 86. That differential offers quite a potential combat bonus for me.
loki100 wrote:One of our more bonkers newspapers (I think it is a newspaper but it reads more and more like a right wing version of Pravda with its own perfectly constructed, internally consistent world, that bears no relationship to reality) managed a solid 18 pages devoted to the shocking news that somewhere in the world, a woman gave birth to a baby. I believe, from the same source, aforementioned baby managed its first pre-planned royal wave as well ...
morningSIDEr wrote:Cracking stuff as ever.
...
Very much looking forward to the coming encounter with Great Britain. The Italian navy is hugely skilled, it's officers and sailors left with an enviable battle readiness after their years of shelling camels and crocodiles, the Italian army is battle hardened like no other, years of constantly being drubbed by various native rebels having seen to this, and Italy's newest ally was just recently left devastated by her new partner. Nothing can go wrong.
morningSIDEr wrote:Cracking stuff as ever.
I've been slowly catching up on this over the last week or so, and I had to register on the forum as soon as I finished my reading.
Very impressive the growth in the Italian Empire over the last few decades. All the more impressive considering how saddeningly poor Italian facial hair is increasingly becoming.
Garibaldi's retirement was a real blow for Italy. Hopefully he's enjoying said retirement though, doing his bit for conservation by making numerous endangered species in Africa all the more endangered. And at least Italy can turn to gifted generals such as Guiseppe so as to fill the void Gari has left. Anyone with such stunning fashion sense clearly a military genius.
Always useful having some willing cannon fodder on your side. Uh, some willing allies on your side that is.
Very much looking forward to the coming encounter with Great Britain. The Italian navy is hugely skilled, it's officers and sailors left with an enviable battle readiness after their years of shelling camels and crocodiles, the Italian army is battle hardened like no other, years of constantly being drubbed by various native rebels having seen to this, and Italy's newest ally was just recently left devastated by her new partner. Nothing can go wrong.
Dewirix wrote:^^ Hi morningSIDEr
A quick check on wikipedia confirms that your casualty rate so far is more than Italy suffered in both world wars (17% higher if we include killed and injured, 174% higher if we just consider deaths). It seems that loki-controlled Italy is a fairly dangerous place, especially for a man old enough to serve in the military.
I think a lot of Italian mothers must be trying to persuade their sons to get a nice safe posting in the navy. Time will tell as to whether that's a good plan.
Sir Garnet wrote:It is a good question what will be the theaters of war, the priority objectives, the opposing force assessment or reconaissance results, the force strenghs of the relevant armies, the commanders, and the assessment of enemy intentions and capabilities. Will invasion of the British Isles be required for warscore? It seems likely, which would suggest appropriate basing in Europe or a daring descent in Ireland or Scotland accompanied by a diversion.
Looking at it from the British point of view, the great concentrations of troops in the empire are nomrally are in Britain and India, with a smaller concentration in South Africa facing the Boer Republics and scattered troops in the Americas, Asia and the rest of Africa. Very spread out, and tied together by the route through the Med and Suez Canal. Malta and Gibraltar are desirable targets, Gibraltar the more useful and dominating for Italy, and would need to be a focus early on before it can be reinforced as already discussed.
Italy with enough fleet strength can control the Med and benefit from interior lines if the canal remains passable, and land-based connection (RR I assume) down the African coast that makes it readily defended. Destroying the British fleet in the Indian Ocean and screening could keep the Indian Army locked up in India and prevent British reinforcement in the South African campaign. Meanwhile, with the seas clear it would not take a huge army to go on a romp in Asia or even the Americas if scouted in advance and if the British fleet can have its attention focused elsewhere.
Director wrote:Egypt's preference for you is easily explainable. First, they hope that fawning on you will stop you from attacking them. Second, they'd rather deal with you than the huge revolt that occurred as soon as you ended the war (evidently the population does not love their rulers). And third, you brought them pizza. What's not to love about that?
Stuyvesant wrote:Hmm. You know the coverage ran 18 pages? You are aware that the autocratic newborn did a royal wave? Comrade, you seem to have spent an inordinate amount of time perusing this counter-revolutionary rag. Most disturbing...
Wotchers, morningSIDEr! (Is that the correct Jeeves and Wooster expression? I'm still working on my oblivious upper-crust nincompoop English)
Good to see you around and your overall analysis of the Italian armed forces seems spot on. But never underestimate loki's burning <a-ha! 'tis A pun!> desire to play with matches in Her Royal Majesty's Dominions.
jokeon wrote:I wonder if you have a name for the planned war with Great Britain, if not can I suggest "The War of Welsh Rabbit"?
Welsh rarebit or Welsh rabbit is a dish made with a savoury sauce of melted cheese and various other ingredients and served hot, after being poured over slices (or other pieces) of toasted bread,[1] or the hot cheese sauce may be served in a bowl accompanied by sliced, toasted bread. The names of the dish originate from 18th-century Great Britain.[2] Welsh rarebit is typically made with Cheddar cheese, in contrast to the Continental European fondue which classically depends on Swiss cheeses.
This is in the tradition of other silly names:
The War of Jenkins' Ear (known as Guerra del Asiento in Spain), was a conflict between Great Britain and Spain that lasted from 1739 to 1748, with major operations largely ended by 1742. Its unusual name, coined by Thomas Carlyle in 1858,[5] refers to an ear severed from Robert Jenkins, captain of a British merchant ship. The severed ear was subsequently exhibited before Parliament. The tale of the ear's separation from Jenkins, following the boarding of his vessel by Spanish coast guards in 1731, provided the impetus to war against the Spanish Empire, ostensibly to encourage the Spanish not to renege on the lucrative asiento contract (permission to sell slaves in Spanish America).[6]
So in Italy it could be called the "Pizza War".
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