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Pocus
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Amusing quotes from the 1850-1920 era

Thu Nov 05, 2009 10:38 am

Dear all,

Reading tips about supply is fun (for some ;) ) while the supply phase is under calculation, but for some, they prefer something more historically themed... This is where the great people reading the forum can play a role.

We need historical quotes, amusing if possible (or strange facts, it works too!).


I'll start with 2 classics (one is roughly translated from French):

"Aviation is for fun, for war, it is worth nothing."
Foch, 1910.

"A pretty mechanical toy ... the war will never be won by such machines."
Kitchener, about tanks, 1916.

:thumbsup:
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Evren
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Thu Nov 05, 2009 12:14 pm

"I am not fond of speaking about politics because I don't have in my possession an army of 200,000 soldiers." - Franz Liszt

"Even if a submarine should work by a miracle, it will never be used. No country in this world would ever use such a vicious and petty form of warfare." - British Admiral William Henderson (1914)

PS: Not really a quote, but this is from the Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce.

VALOR, n. A soldierly compound of vanity, duty and the gambler's hope.

"Why have you halted?" roared the commander of a division and Chickamauga, who had ordered a charge. "Move forward, sir, at once."

"General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy." :D

PSS: This thread made me remember another goof.

Having emigrated to Austria during World War I, Leon Trotsky spent much of his time playing chess at the Cafe Central. Many viewed the Russian as docile, quiet man who kept to himself.

When Leopold Berchtold, foreign minister of Austria-Hungary, was told that the war would provoke revolution in Russia, even if not in the Habsburg monarchy, he replied: "Russia is not a land where revolutions break out. And who will lead this revolution? Perhaps Mr. Bronstein [Trotsky] sitting over there at the Cafe Central?" :bonk:

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Le Ricain
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Thu Nov 05, 2009 1:40 pm

"The Schleswig-Holstein question is so complicated, only three men in Europe understood it. One was Prince Albert, who is dead. The second was a German professor who went mad. I am the third and I have forgotten all about it"
Lord Palmerston, British Prime Minister 1855-58; 1859-1865

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."
Benjamin Disraeli, British Prime Minister 1868, 1874-1880

"If Germany is to become a colonizing power, all I say is, 'God speed her'. She becomes our ally and partner in the execution of the great purpose of Providence for the advantage of Mankind."
William E Gladstone, British Prime Minister 1868-74; 1880-85; 1892-94

"Not bad, considering that I was seated between Jesus Christ and Napoleon."
David Lloyd George, British Prime Minister 1916-22, commenting on the attributes of Woodrow Wilson and Georges Clemenceau at the Paris Peace Conference 1919.

"There are two supreme pleasures in life, One is ideal, the other real. The ideal is when a man receives the seals of office from his sovereign. The real pleasure comes when he hands them back."
Archibald Primrose - 5th Earl of Rosebery. British Prime Minister 1894-95

"The War office kept three sets of figures - one to mislead the public, another to mislead the cabinet and the third to mislead itself."
Herbert Asquith, British Prime minister 1908-16

"The reason why the sun never sets on the British Empire is because God does not trust the British in the dark."
Anonymous

"We seem to have conquered and peopled half the world in a fit of absence of the mind."
Sir John Seeley, 1883

"There is a Providence that protects idiots, drunkards, children and the United States of America."
Otto von Bismarck
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'Nous voilà, Lafayette'

Colonel C.E. Stanton, aide to A.E.F. commander John 'Black Jack' Pershing, upon the landing of the first US troops in France 1917

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lodilefty
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Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:13 pm

"If he is a drunkard, then order a case of his whiskey for every general."
"I can't spare this man. He fights"
[INDENT]Abraham Lincoln, replying to complaints about U.S. Grant[/INDENT]

"If General McClellan has no plan for it, perhaps he would let me borrow the Army for a while"
[INDENT]Abraham Lincoln[/INDENT]
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Hobbes
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Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:15 pm

“Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.”
Oscar Wilde

“Hard pressed on my right. My center is yielding. Impossible to maneuver. Situation excellent. I am attacking.”
Ferdinand Foch

''War is too important to be left to the generals.''
Georges Clemenceau

“Almost everything that is great has been done by youth.”
Benjamin Disraeli

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Spharv2
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Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:07 pm

"The Foreign Minister of Germany once said to me 'your country does not dare do anything against Germany, because we have in your country 500,000 German reservists who will rise in arms against your government if you dare to make a move against Germany.'

Well, I told him that that might be so, but that we had 500,001 lamp posts in this country, and that that was where the reservists would be hanging the day after they tried to rise. "

James W. Gerard - U.S. Ambassador to Germany before WWI
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Generalisimo
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Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:12 pm

Most of my favorites ones come from Bismarck...

"The great questions of the day will not be settled by means of speeches and majority decisions but by iron and blood. "

"The main thing is to make history, not to write it. "

"The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. "

"People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election. "

"When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.”
"History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon."
Napoleon Bonaparte


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Pocus
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Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:05 pm

Spharv2 wrote:"The Foreign Minister of Germany once said to me 'your country does not dare do anything against Germany, because we have in your country 500,000 German reservists who will rise in arms against your government if you dare to make a move against Germany.'

Well, I told him that that might be so, but that we had 500,001 lamp posts in this country, and that that was where the reservists would be hanging the day after they tried to rise. "

James W. Gerard - U.S. Ambassador to Germany before WWI


This one is very close to this 1912 one :)

"Shoot twice and go home." - Swiss response to Kaiser Wilhelm II's question in 1912 as to what the 250,000 Swiss militiamen would do if invaded by half a million German soldiers.
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Le Ricain
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Thu Nov 05, 2009 5:58 pm

"I do not rule Russia, ten thousand clerks do."
Tsar Nicholas I

"Russia has two generals in whom she can confide - Generals January and February."
Tsar Nicholas I

"There is no justice among men."
Tsar Nicholas II

"Any cook should be able to run the country."
Vladimir I Lenin

"All I know is that I am not a Marxist."
Karl Marx
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'Nous voilà, Lafayette'



Colonel C.E. Stanton, aide to A.E.F. commander John 'Black Jack' Pershing, upon the landing of the first US troops in France 1917

Andriko
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Thu Nov 05, 2009 6:42 pm

Disraeli: The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity.

Disraeli has so many good quotes, so i won't list more then this one.

Gladstone refering to no. 10 Downing Street: Never has a man held so much power and had so little to show for it (not an exact quote, and was unable to double check it)

Arthur Balfour, British Primie Minster 1902-1905: I thought Winston Churchill was a young man of promise, but it appears he is a young man of promises.

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Spharv2
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Thu Nov 05, 2009 9:48 pm

Pocus wrote:This one is very close to this 1912 one :)

"Shoot twice and go home." - Swiss response to Kaiser Wilhelm II's question in 1912 as to what the 250,000 Swiss militiamen would do if invaded by half a million German soldiers.


The Germans do seem to have lacked a bit of tact in the beginning of the century, which often prompted some good replies. :)
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gchristie
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Thu Nov 05, 2009 10:45 pm

“I have been told I was on the road to hell, but I had no idea it was just a mile down the road with a Dome on it.”
— Abraham Lincoln

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
— Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)

“A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. “
— Theodore Roosevelt

“And remember, where you have a concentration of power in a few hands, all too frequently men with the mentality of gangsters get control. History has proven that. “
— Lord Acton

The last not so amusing, but often so true.
"Now, back to Rome for a quick wedding - and some slow executions!"- Miles Gloriosus

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Le Ricain
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Thu Nov 05, 2009 11:21 pm

"The Japanese are beating us with machine guns, but never mind, we will beat them with icons."
General Mikhail Dragomirov, 1905, on hearing that Tsar Nicholas II was sending religious icons to the troops to boost morals.

"When a sewer has to be cleaned, they send for Witte."
Sergei Witte on his role at the 1905 Portsmouth Peace Conference.
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'Nous voilà, Lafayette'



Colonel C.E. Stanton, aide to A.E.F. commander John 'Black Jack' Pershing, upon the landing of the first US troops in France 1917

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Le Ricain
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Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:01 am

A few more quotes:

"The Empress is legitimate. My cousin is Republican. Morny is Orleanist. I am a Socialist; the only Bonapartist is Persigny and he is mad."
Napoleon III

"There seems to be something wrong with our bloody ships today."
Admiral David Beatty, Battle of Jutland 1916 after HMS Indefatigable and HMS Queen Mary both exploded within minutes of each other.

"The most significant event of the 20th century will be the fact that the North Americans speak English."
Otto von Bismarck (1815-1898)
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'Nous voilà, Lafayette'



Colonel C.E. Stanton, aide to A.E.F. commander John 'Black Jack' Pershing, upon the landing of the first US troops in France 1917

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Queeg
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Sat Nov 07, 2009 5:47 am

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”

Thomas Brackett Reed, Speaker of the House, on his political opponents.

Jojo le Gouffy
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Sat Nov 07, 2009 10:06 am

L'empire, c'est la paix Napoléon III.
(si, si, il l'a dit...)
En traduction ce serait du genre
The Empire, this is peace
Si quelqu'un trouve mieux

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PANGI
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Sat Nov 07, 2009 2:31 pm

Le Ricain wrote:"The Empress is legitimate. My cousin is Republican. Morny is Orleanist. I am a Socialist; the only Bonapartist is Persigny and he is mad."
Napoleon III


:D Never heard
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Adlertag
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Sun Nov 08, 2009 11:50 am

A somewhat famous quote of Napoleon III. It shows he is really a brilliant man.

This quote below is, I'm not 100% sure, from Marshall Joffre, here is a translation attempt as I don't find it except in French :

"The infantryman has to copy in each of its attitude the crab louse, this sublime animal who dies but never gives up."
La mort est un mur, mourir est une brèche.

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Mon Nov 09, 2009 2:05 am

Admiral David Farragut at Mobile: "Damn the torpedoes [water mines], full speed ahead!"

scott1964
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Mon Nov 09, 2009 7:49 am

"This leads to the further reflection, that no other human occupation
opens so wide a field for the profitable and agreeable combination of
labor with cultivated thought, as agriculture. I know of nothing so
pleasant to the mind, as the discovery of anything which is at once
new and valuable -- nothing which so lightens and sweetens toil, as
the hopeful pursuit of such discovery. And how vast, and how varied
a field is agriculture, for such discovery. The mind, already trained to
thought, in the country school, or higher school, cannot fail to find there
an exhaustless source of profitable enjoyment."
Abraham Lincoln
Source: September 30, 1859 - Address before the Wisconsin State
Agricultural Society

scott1964
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Mon Nov 09, 2009 7:51 am

It was my fortune, or misfortune, to be called to the office of Chief Executive without any previous political training.
Ulysses Grant

scott1964
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Mon Nov 09, 2009 7:52 am

I am not yet ready to be Tsar. I know nothing of the business of ruling.
Nicholas II

scott1964
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Mon Nov 09, 2009 7:56 am

If you are not too large for the place you occupy, you are too small for it.
James A. Garfield

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Mon Nov 09, 2009 7:57 am

I may be president of the United States, but my private life is nobody's damned business.
The extravagant expenditure of public money is an evil not to be measured by the value of that money to the people who are taxed for it.
Chester Arthur

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Le Ricain
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Tue Nov 10, 2009 2:02 am

"For those who govern, the first thing required is indifference to newspapers."
Louis Adolphe Thiers, French President 1871-73

"Typhoid fever is a terrible sickness. Either you die from it or you become an idiot. And I know what I am talking about. I had it."
Patrice de MacMahon, French President 1873-79

French President Felix Faure made no amusing quotes. However, there were many amusing puns made by Clemenceau and others on the circumstances of Faure's death. Wikipedia has English translations of these puns for any who may be interested.

Clemenceau had a cuban cigar named after him. However, today Clemenceaus are made in the Dominican Republic.

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'Nous voilà, Lafayette'



Colonel C.E. Stanton, aide to A.E.F. commander John 'Black Jack' Pershing, upon the landing of the first US troops in France 1917

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Tue Nov 10, 2009 8:56 pm

Always do right. This will surprise some people and astonish the rest. - Mark Twain

“A man he is of contrasts so complete that he appears one day a Presbyterian deacon who delights in theological discussion and, the next, a reincarnated Joshua. He lives by the New Testament and fights by the Old. Almost 6 feet in height and weighing about 175 pounds, he has blue eyes, a brown beard and a commonplace, somewhat trusty appearance” -- (Lee’s Letters). Lee describing Jackson

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? -- Lincoln

“When I am the weaker, I ask you for my freedom, because that is your principle; but when I am the stronger, I take away your freedom, because that is my principle” Louis Veuillot

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Quotes

Sat Nov 14, 2009 12:47 am

"You may compare me with Lord Nelson, but not with Yi Sun-sin. Next to him, I am only a petty officer" - Admiral Togo of the Imperial Japanese Navy

"An individual should not have too much freedom. A nation should have absolute freedom." - Sun Yat-sen, Founder of the Chinese Republic

"The study of history lies at the foundation of all sound military conclusions and practice." - Alfred Thayer Mahan, American Naval Officer

"The essence of war is violence. Moderation in war is imbecility." - John Fisher, First Sea Lord of the British Admiralty

"The Prussian schoolmaster won the battle of Sadowa.” - Helmuth Von Moltke, Prussian Officer

“If you tell the truth, you have infinite power supporting you; but if not, you have infinite power against you.” - Charles "Chinese" Gordon, British Officer

“I offer neither pay, nor quarters, nor food; I offer only hunger, thirst, forced marches, battles and death. Let him who loves his country with his heart, and not merely with his lips, follow me.” - Giuseppe Garibaldi, Italian Patriot

"An Assegai has been thrust into the belly of the nation, there are not enough tears to mourn for the dead." - King Cetshwayo of the Zulus

“Among individuals, as among nations, peace is the respect of others' rights." - Benito Juarez, President of Mexico

"Shoot straight, you bastards!" - Harry "Breaker" Harbord Morant, Australian Officer in British Service, Second Boer War (last words before firing squad)

"General Otis is proclaimed American Military Governor of the Philippines and I protest a thousand times and with all the force in my soul against such pretension." - Emilio Aguinaldo, Philippine leader

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Le Ricain
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Sat Nov 14, 2009 4:28 am

"It is magnificent, but it is not war."
Pierre Bosquet, French Field Marshal in the Crimea, commenting on the charge of the Light Brigade 1854.

"There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry."
George Armstrong Custer

"I hold it as a principle that the duration of peace is directly proportional to the slaughter you inflict upon the enemy. The harder you hit them, the longer they remain quiet."
Mikhail Skobelev, Russian General
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'Nous voilà, Lafayette'



Colonel C.E. Stanton, aide to A.E.F. commander John 'Black Jack' Pershing, upon the landing of the first US troops in France 1917

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PANGI
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Sat Nov 14, 2009 9:01 am

elxaime wrote:"The Prussian schoolmaster won the battle of Sadowa.” - Helmuth Von Moltke, Prussian Officer


Strange quote. Did he mean von Fransecky? He had a talent for ironic notes. I remeber (but not literally) his remark to american civil war (but dont know on which occasion). He said: "I have no time to waste in studying the struggles of two armed mobs." But it is possible that he never told that but it fits to him.
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Le Ricain
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Sat Nov 14, 2009 11:07 am

PANGI wrote:Strange quote. Did he mean von Fransecky? He had a talent for ironic notes. I remeber (but not literally) his remark to american civil war (but dont know on which occasion). He said: "I have no time to waste in studying the struggles of two armed mobs." But it is possible that he never told that but it fits to him.


It is my understanding that the quote is a reference to the role that education played in developing Prussian nationalism and national spirit within the Prussian army.

A similar quote would have the Duke of Wellington's, "The Battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton".
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'Nous voilà, Lafayette'



Colonel C.E. Stanton, aide to A.E.F. commander John 'Black Jack' Pershing, upon the landing of the first US troops in France 1917

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