
I've been doing some reading, and I've made the most amazing discovery! OK, so, everybody knows about Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, right? You know what I'm talking about: the album with the same name, by the Beatles, and the song, and all that stuff. I always thought that the Beatles just completely made it all up, kinda like I do when I write fake history posts like this one. But no, Sergeant Pepper was a real person, who lived in the 19th century! But ya know what? That's not the most amazing part. The most amazing part is that he fought for the South, during the American Civil War, even though he was British!
OK, he didn't really fight. At least, not at first. He was a band member of a battlefield band! The band was originally "Colonel McTavish's Bravehearts Band", but after McTavish was killed at Chancellorsville, Sergeant Pepper boldly seized command of the band on the battlefield, and the rest is (admittedly obscure) history! As things got worse and worse for the South, Sergeant Pepper and his Bravehearts band were often conscripted on the battlefield as Infantry. At Vicksburg, Confederate General Johnston supposedly told Sergeant Pepper, "Shush that infernal racket, make yourself useful, and pick up a rifle, man!!"
Sergeant Pepper's story is pretty amazing, let me tell ya! He saw a lot of combat. I mean, he hadn't even managed to step foot on American soil before he was being shot at! He was on a brig that had almost slipped through the Union blockade, and was sneeeeeeaking upriver under cover of darkness. A Union artillery battery spotted them, though, and started shelling their boat. Mr. Pepper kinda went to pieces, freaking out bigtime! Maybe it was because of the way that the tough Confederate sailors just laughed at him and made fun of him, but after that...? He was just super brave! I mean, its not like he didn't have a good reason to come unglued: his boat got sunk, and he had to swim to shore! That's not a very nice way to welcome somebody to America, if you ask me. But like I said, he was a real hero after that. Before the end of the war, he had nearly 30 bands shot out from under him! At Appomattox, he and his surviving band members were allowed to keep their instruments, and he supposedly said, "I finished the war a band ahead." This may be apocryphal, though.
After the war, he wrote a song about his experiences that was waaaay ahead of its time. Because Pepper was so far ahead of his time, John Lennon memorialized him by using the exact same harpsichord tune that ex-Sergeant Pepper wrote in 1867, and just changed the lyrics a little. The tune that you and I know as Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds is the tune that Pepper wrote in 1867!! Isn't that amazing, though? It was written a century before the Beatles made it famous! I think that's pretty cool!
Lennon changed the words a little bit, and it's easy to understand why. Pepper's original lyrics were really a bummer! His song was a haunting recollection of his experience, during the war.
I've found his original lyrics. Like I said, they're to the tune of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. They're really sad, so I'll understand if you cry. I did!
Picture yourself in a boat, on a river,
bombarded by Yankees, with nowhere to hide...
everyone smiles, as you flounder and cower,
a bloke with wide terrified eyes...
Walls of a fortress behind a wide moat,
towering over your head...
look for the guys who are guarding your flanks,
but they're gone...
Fighting losing battles, just sucks, man!
Fighting losing battles, just sucks, man!
Fighting losing battles, just sucks, man!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!!
(repeat chorus, and fade)
I think it's that last soulful cry of anguish, that really gets to me. Poor Pepper!