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Chaplain Lovejoy
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Top 10 Signs You're Playing Too Much AACW

Thu Sep 04, 2008 12:10 am

With inspiration from David Letterman and his (in)famous Top 10 lists, how about top ten signs you're playing too much AACW? I have only two of my own, so I'm hoping others will add an additional eight. Rather than starting at number ten and working backward as Dave does, I'll start at number one, which will allow for overrun in case there's more than ten.

[drum roll]

Top 10 Signs You're Playing Too Much AACW

1. When someone asks you where you live, you respond with AACW map designations and coordinates.

2. No number two--writer busy playing AACW.

3.

02Pilot
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 12:35 am

Well, first off, you've got to start with #10. That said,

10. When someone asks you where you live, you respond with AACW map designations and coordinates.

9. No number two--writer busy playing AACW.

8. When you girlfriend asks you to get up and go to the store, you begin your argument with a discussion of lost entrenchment benefits.

7.

vonRocko
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 12:37 am

7. Gen.Lee speaks to you at 3 a.m.

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Thu Sep 04, 2008 12:38 am

6. When the trains are running late, you wonder which raider unit cut the rails.
Always ask yourself: "Am I part of the Solution?" If you aren't, then you are part of the Problem!
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Rafiki
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:28 am

5. When the company you work for assigns a new manager on a high profile prohject, and your first reaction about it is "but he's not even promotable!"
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dooya
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:31 am

4. Your wife has left you, because during pillow talk you whispered "Ohhhh Athena" in her ear.
No quote - No bullshit!

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dooya
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:35 am

3. Your wife has not left you, because during pillow talk you whispered "Ohhhh Pocus" in her ear.
No quote - No bullshit!

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Rafiki
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:43 am

dooya wrote:3. Your wife has not left you, because during pillow talk you whispered "Ohhhh Pocus" in her ear.

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:mdr:
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FortyEighter
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Hmmm

Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:43 am

2. You don't go to work, because the activation-roll failed.
"I fight mit Sigel" XI Corps, Army of the Potomac
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Pocus
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:53 am

(x). Too much people to enter the subway and pester: 'damn frontage!'.
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Carnium
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:30 am

(x) You keep checking AGEOD forums for new patches&fixes every two hours :D

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W.Barksdale
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 1:51 pm

You blame inflation and food shortages on 'that damned Yankee blockade'.
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-General William Barksdale at Fredericksburg

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Korrigan
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 1:56 pm

In the office, at random period and without previous notice, you whistle some ACW tunes.
"Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference." Mark Twain

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Dixicrat
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 4:38 pm

You name your firstborn Jefferson Davis, knowing that someday she'll thank you.
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Dixicrat
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 4:39 pm

It's worth going hungry for a few days, to get that baseball on eBay autographed by Stand Watie.
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Dixicrat
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 4:40 pm

The kids might not like it now, but someday they'll thank you for the Banjo Lessons.
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Dixicrat
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 4:41 pm

Your kids resent having to salute you. For that matter, so does your grandmother.
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tagwyn
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 5:49 pm

Jeff Davis was a traitor. Why would your daughter thank you for that name? The Confederacy is not going to "rise a'gin." t

stegosarus_army
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 5:50 pm

... when you call in for work and tell your boss that the reason you dont want to go to work is because its too far out of range of supply and that you'll begin to suffer from attrition. :D
oh.. how we hate attrition

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Dixicrat
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 6:20 pm

tagwyn wrote:Jeff Davis was a traitor. Why would your daughter thank you for that name? The Confederacy is not going to "rise a'gin." t


"I say, I say, I say... that was a joke, son!" -- Foghorn Leghorn

Since you apparently didn't "get it", let me explain it to you. The humor was supposed to have two edges, much like a sword, you see. The first idea was to present the absurdity of any one actually being fanatical enough to name a child Jefferson Davis. Then, the other "edge" was supposed to be that of naming a girl with a boy's name. The first part was to set up the second part: an initial absurdity, followed by an even greater one.

Of course, the other (more likely) possibility is that you "got it" and simply have some sort of issues with Southerners, for whatever reason. If so, that's unfortunate. We have a distinctive culture, certainly, but the contemporary south is nothing like the Antebellum one. People are essentially the same, no matter whether you live in France, Ohio, or Tennessee.

Enjoy your game. For what it's worth, I hope that you decimate the South, every time, if that's what you want... pillaging from NW Missouri to the Florida Keys. Of course, the actual civil war was over 143 years ago, so after a hopefully therapeutic session or two, you'll be able to "stack arms" and move on.
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Dixicrat
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Top reasons to think you might be playing too much AACW

Thu Sep 04, 2008 6:29 pm

You turn off the radio in your car so that you can hum 150-year-old fiddle tunes. Strangely, your passengers resent this.
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arsan
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 6:31 pm

Don't worry Dixicrat, i found it funny! :thumbsup:
In fact i missed the "she" part the first time i read it so your explanation was welcome! :wacko:
Tagwyn, c'mon, relax and enjoy the jokes! :cwboy:

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Rafiki
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 6:34 pm

[color="Blue"]OK, tagwyn and Dixicrat, let's calm down a few notches here. No need to get personal. Suggesting that someone should refer to therapeutic sessions is way out of line, nor is there any need to take jokes made here seriously in any way.[/color]
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Dixicrat
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Top reasons...

Thu Sep 04, 2008 6:36 pm

x) You're starting to get tired, but you've almost finished analyzing your move... when your sleepy, coffee-slurping spouse shuffles in and says, "gosh, you're up early!"

x) Said spouse immediately assumes that it's because you want to get a good start on your job search today, since you lost your last job because you were caught playing "that Civil War thing" at work.

Seek professional help, if
  • You begin wondering whether that shop downtown where they make tailored suits might be able to make you a Confederate General's uniform.
  • You come to realize that owning a genuine Confederate Cavalry Sabre IS more important than owning a car. Why didn't you see this, before?!
  • Learning to play the Bugle suddenly seems to be the epitome of cool. The only time you'll have to practice is early morning... but people need to get up then anyway, right?
  • You've worked out a compromise with your boss: he doesn't have to salute you, if he addresses you as "Colonel".
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Dixicrat
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Apology

Thu Sep 04, 2008 6:38 pm

I sincerely apologize if I have offended anyone. You're absolutely right, Rafiki.
As usual. ;)

For self-castigation, I'll write a Mod so that all of my generals are hotheads (just like me!) in our next PBEM, okay? :)
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Rafiki
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Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:43 pm

Dixicrat wrote:For self-castigation, I'll write a Mod so that all of my generals are hotheads (just like me!) in our next PBEM, okay? :)

Sounds good to me :thumbsup:

Also, thanks for deleting the post; it was a bit out of place in what is supposed to be quite a light-hearted thread :)
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Chaplain Lovejoy
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Fri Sep 05, 2008 12:18 am

x. When your wife interrupts with a suggestion that you mow the lawn, you ask yourself, "Should I hold at all costs, or should I evade combat?"

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Pocus
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Fri Sep 05, 2008 7:12 am

Good ones... Dixicrat is rather imaginative and prolific!
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Ethy
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Fri Sep 05, 2008 11:49 am

wat about?

you get into a disagreement with some guy at work and you really wanna win the argument so you hope for foriegn intervention (from another employee) :)

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Dixicrat
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Fri Sep 05, 2008 3:37 pm

Seek professional help if...

...your wife says that she's leaving because she feels ignored, and you ask her to wait until you finish your turn so that the two of you can discuss it.

It's too late if...

...the "it" that you want to discuss is the turn.
[SIZE="3"]Regards,[/size]

Dixicrat



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