Thu Oct 04, 2012 10:02 pm
[ATTACH]20153[/ATTACH]
Years ago during my first tour of duty in Germany (before I met A.M.), a few buddies and I headed downtown to Bobligen to have a few beers and carouse with the local women. We stayed out until very late, and when we were heading back to the barracks at about 1 a.m., we decided to take a shortcut through a section of town that we normally didn't frequent.
As it turned out, our path took us into an ancient part of the city, and we discovered a huge cemetery that was surrounded by very high hedge rows. The occasional glimpses we caught of the cemetery's interior was rather foreboding. It was pretty obvious that the place had quit taking new occupants hundreds of years ago. To sum it up, the place was extremely creepy to a handful of young American soldiers who were somewhat intoxicated.
Matters weren't made any better by the fact that there was a section of the street where a streetlight was out (a very rare thing in 1980's Germany). And so, there we were... walking through the eerie darkness, past an extremely creepy cemetery. Everyone got really quiet, and I'm guessing that we probably picked up the pace, a little bit.
You know how, in the movies, they always say that a place was, "Quiet. Too quiet." Well, that's where we were. That's when the guy at the front of our little group slowed just a little, and started to turn toward the rest of us, to say something over his shoulder.
"You know, this place gives me the cree-..."
He never finished his sentence.
Suddenly, his body violently jolted toward the hedge, right beside him, and with a blood curdling scream, he kicked and thrashed as he began to submerge into the sinister darkness of the hedge. His screams sounded like he was being eaten alive by something. Oh, Lord, we were both shocked, and absolutely terrified!
At least, for a couple of seconds. That's when we realized that he was laughing like a maniac at our reactions. Of course, he'd deliberately lunged into the hedge, screaming. All it took was our heightened edginess and the dark and creepily sinister atmosphere to be totally taken in by his prank.
(Dixi 2011)
[ATTACH]20154[/ATTACH]
This is the chilling story from long, long ago (about three years, to be exact) of the dreadful, horrible... Artichoke Heart!
All of you with children know that kids can be picky eaters. Our eight-year-old daughter Melanie has absolutely refused to eat Artichoke hearts since she was five. She had a bad first experience with them, and so I can't say that I blame her. The person who I do blame is her older sister, Jan. Here's how it happened.
Our family likes to try new foods from time to time. And so one day, when Melanie was still in kindergarten, I decided to introduce the girls to marinated Artichoke hearts.
"What's for dinner, mommy?" asked Jan, as she walked into the kitchen with her little sister in tow.
"We're going to try something new!" I told my little darlings, and promised that they were going to learn just how yummy Artichoke hearts were.
Now, another tradition we have in our family is scholarship. My husband has taught our kids that the best way to answer a question is to find out for yourself. And so, we have two sets of encyclopedias: Encyclopedia Britannica for "grown ups", and World Book Encyclopedia for kids. The World Book has lots of interesting and pretty pictures.
So when little Melanie asked what an "artichoke" was, I was happy when Jan said, "let's go see!" before I could respond. I knew that she was going to lead her little sister to the World Book Encyclopedia. I was proud of my eldest daughter for wanting to help her baby sister learn new stuff. But my happiness didn't last very long.
It was only a minute or two later that I heard a shrill scream from the living room. An instant later, baby Melanie came racing into the kitchen. She was almost hysterical, with her sweet little face streaked with tears as she tugged on my apron.
"Don't make me eat it! Please, mommy, please, don't make me eat it, and don't hurt the artichoke, even if its ugly…!"
Meanwhile, Jan was suspiciously absent. Hmm.
It didn't take long for me to find out what had happened. Jan had gone to the World Book, probably with sincere enough intentions… but when she'd opened up the encyclopedia, one of the first entries is… aardvark. And so, she'd pointed to the picture of the aardvark and said to her sister,
"There. That's one! That's what an artichoke looks like. …and Mommy's gonna make you eat its heart, for dinner!"
Poor little Melanie!
(Aphrodite Mae 2008)
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