I want my husband back!

[Aphrodite Mae]

[ATTACH]4020[/ATTACH]

How's this?

I usually save the girly hoarse pouting for when my manly horse pouncing backfires. The hoarseness is from all those cigars.

Welcome to the forums.

Your eloquence xseems familiar, sir. Didnt I see you gyreing and gimbling somewhere, once?

I think Im going to like you in particular, Mr. J.
Please write more about your methods and techniques of manly horse pouncing, please.

Oops. Gotta go. Bills back, with the kids.

[Jabberwock]

Possible. I did used to do some burbling and whiffling down around your neck of the tulgey woods.

Well, I'm sure this isn't suitable advice for a genteel belle, but here goes -

After a few cigars, always pounce from the direction of something equally odiferous, such as a compost heap. Surprise when pounced on from a compost heap = considerable.

[boboneilltexas]

She must be talking about a Union man. A southern gentleman would respect a ladies wishes.

[tagwyn]

That a pic of you? Looks like an old pic of Shirley Temple? I like cigars but not well enough to smoke anymore. apy:

[arsan]

That a pic of you? Looks like an old pic of Shirley Temple? I like cigars but not well enough to smoke anymore. apy:

Shirley Temple??
Tagwyn, you definitely need to see more classic films!
Her avatar is Scarlett O'Hara (played by the gorgeous Vivien Leigh) form "Gone with the wind" film.
Rhe prototype of Souther Belle!
Cheers!

[Adlertag]

Welcome to the forums Aphrodite Mae.
Wow! 12 posts/day! Ageods Forums are very attractive, I see and soon your husband will say " I want my wife back !"

[Athena]

Don't thread on me.

[Sol Invictus]

YIKES! A cat fight between Aphrodite and Athena. Which one of these goddesses will triumph?

[Jojo le Gouffy]

Read Homère (écrit à la française)

[Jabberwock]

YIKES! A cat fight between Aphrodite and Athena. Which one of these goddesses will triumph?

"The curve is more powerful than the sword." - Mae West

Of course, Mae is hardly a neutral party.

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[Sol Invictus]

Though I expect Athena to put up quite a challenge, my money is on Aphrodite.

[Aphrodite Mae]

Why, I do declare! What an absolute pleasure it is to meet you at last, Athena! I simply must declare that your Avatar is even more beautiful than I have heard! And I simply have to add that such a brilliant mind as yours has always, always in my humble experience been equally matched with genteel manner, and exquisite taste! Perhaps you might show me something of that taste the next time we meet here, when you're not so embarrassed for clothing. I can certainly understand your request that I not "thread" on you. We certainly wouldn't want to start anything now, would we? …And aren't these shoes cute?! You'll never guess where I bought them! Those little thingys on the side just make them special, don't they!? …Personally? I think you'd look really good in them. They're sassy, just like you! Hey: tell me honey, is it true what I've heard? Surely it isn't true, with such a lovely sweetness as you are! But I have heard that your brilliance is owed mostly to the presence of Arsenic within the sweetness of your semiconductors. Of all things! "Gallium Arsenic", or something like that. Silly me, I can't remember exactly, and I suppose it doesn't matter, does it? Even if its true, some silly little matter of what enables PNP and NPN junctions to work in such teensy-tiny little things as transistors can't be that important, can it? What is it called…? For some reason, the word "doping" comes to mind. But surely that can't be it, with such dazzling intellect as yours! Hey, I simply have to know: try these on, okay?!… ohmigohd you look so cute! Next time I go to that very special certain store (!) with Bill's American Express…?! I'm going to get you something that's going to change the way you feel about yourself, I promise. It's going to be a whole new you who's a sweeter and sassier you! I can't wait! Meeting you has been simply wonderful, and I shall remember it always! But I dare not keep you any longer. I know that you're extremely busy, since I couldn't help but notice that you have 100,000,000 posts. How impressive! How busy you must be! I only have a few posts, myself. Girl to Girl…? …one of them was a mandated apology, can you imagine?! Of course, I erased it as quickly as I could! There is certainly no need for a girl to leave a permanent record of her mistakes, is there? I suppose that erasing one's mistakes and apologies is a very important part of chatting on the forums… yes, with one hundred million posts, even a fool like me can only conclude that you know this, very well. This brings to my silly mind the fact that I found only a dozen or so of your posts, despite the three hours of searching that I did. But I'm not very good at searching. Heavens, no. And I must declare that your twelve postings were exceptionally helpful, and I am forever grateful for their illuminating insight. But… where are the other 999,999,988? Silly little me isn't quite smart enough to find them. Please enlighten me, for I simply cannot wait to read them! Truly! Now… speaking about fun…! What do you say we do a …. makeover?!!! Sweetness, you've got the perfect alabaster complexion so that you can do anything!! Let's do something fun! Nobody will ever know if we make you look gorgeously… Egyptian!! Yaaaay!! WhooHoo! You are going to be sooooo gorgeous, when I get done with you! Tuesday after next, okay? And we'll do lunch! This has been such fun! I am delighted to say that I am certain that the pleasure in this meeting has been all mine! Please, stay as sweet and lovely as you are! Your new best friend, Aphrodite Mae …Honey? I'm so dreadfully sorry to bring you back, but I just thought of one more teensy, tinsy thing that I wanted to add. I'm ashamed to say it, but I'm going to need my shoes back. But they do make you look cute, and I made a prommmmissse…! And now that you're here? Silly me, I can be so foolish sometimes! I forgot to mention the very thing which I meant to mention first! It is only this, between good friends: quit making my husband look like a fool. That is my job. Otherwise? the next time that we meet here, I might not be so sweet. See you soon! And stay sweet! Truly, I just can't wait until we meet here, again!

[Aphrodite Mae]

Read Homère (écrit à la française)

Certainment! Mais... je ne suis pas Aphrodite. Je suis Aphrodite Mae.

[Dixicrat]

…Honey? I'm so dreadfully sorry to bring you back, but I just thought of one more teensy, tinsy thing that I wanted to add. I'm ashamed to say it, but I'm going to need my shoes back.

...help...! ...can't.... breathe...!

[Jabberwock]

...help...! ...can't.... breathe...!

Getting too close to shared shoes can do that.

[dooya]

[...] I'm ashamed to say it, but I'm going to need my shoes back. [...]

Maybe Athena is the wrong person to blame ... in the lavatory I just met ... Pocus.

[Jabberwock]

Maybe Athena is the wrong person to blame ... in the lavatory I just met ... Pocus.

Hmm ... somebody's secret identity could be slipping.

[Adlertag]

Hey: tell me honey, is it true what I've heard? Surely it isn't true, with such a lovely sweetness as you are! But I have heard that your brilliance is owed mostly to the presence of Arsenic within the sweetness of your semiconductors. Of all things! "Gallium Arsenic", or something like that. Silly me, I can't remember exactly, and I suppose it doesn't matter, does it? Even if its true, some silly little matter of what enables PNP and NPN junctions to work in such teensy-tiny little things as transistors can't be that important, can it? What is it called…? For some reason, the word "doping" comes to mind. But surely that can't be it, with such dazzling intellect as yours! Hey, I simply have to know: try these on, okay?!… ohmigohd you look so cute! Next time I go to that very special certain store (!) with Bill's American Express…?! I'm going to get you something that's going to change the way you feel about yourself, I promise. It's going to be a whole new you who's a sweeter and sassier you! I can't wait!

Sorry, but Athena prefers Silicium MOS-transistors, so cute rather than GaAs... We don't want to see her transformed into a mobile phone.

[arsan]

Maybe Athena is the wrong person to blame ... in the lavatory I just met ... Pocus.

Nice looking legs, Philipe!
But they could use some depilation...

[Dudosh]

Nice looking legs, Philipe!
But they could use some depilation...

LOL

[Rafiki]

Ahhh, menu has been updated. yum yum

That this post now isn't even in the upper half, weirdness-wise, of this thread, is really starting to worry me

[Aphrodite Mae]

Hello, Gentlemen!

First, I want to announce that Dixiecrat and I will be celebrating our 20th Anniversary on the 22nd of this month! And that is why I am here, today. I want to buy him that stupid new game that AGEOD in coming out with, about World War I. I wanted it for our anniversary, but the meanies at AGEOD won't let me have it early! (pout)

Dixiecrat likes to have silly little things to make his stupid wargames seem more real. That general uniform he wears when he plays, and stuff like that. And so, I got us some matching gas masks! That will help with the WW I game, don't you think so?

But I gotta know: does this gas mask make me look fat?
Here, I'll put it on, and you tell me.

Mmmph? Mmmmph?! murph moaf mmmmmmmph!

Thank you so much!

[Aphrodite Mae]

I'm so excited! I got promoted! Someone promoted me, and I'm not a Concubine anymore, I'm a Private! YAAAY!
Whoever gave me my promotion?

[Rafiki]

Whoever gave me my promotion?

It's automatic as your post count increases; post some more, and you'll see yourself promoted again shortly

[Sol Invictus]

Mae, just buy Dixiecrat a pickelhaube and he will cherish you always. Also, please share your devious strategies with which you thrash Dixiecrat. We promise not to give him a hard time.

[Franciscus]

Hello, Gentlemen!

First, I want to announce that Dixiecrat and I will be celebrating our 20th Anniversary on the 22nd of this month! And that is why I am here, today. I want to buy him that stupid new game that AGEOD in coming out with, about World War I. I wanted it for our anniversary, but the meanies at AGEOD won't let me have it early! (pout)

Dixiecrat likes to have silly little things to make his stupid wargames seem more real. That general uniform he wears when he plays, and stuff like that. And so, I got us some matching gas masks! That will help with the WW I game, don't you think so?

But I gotta know: does this gas mask make me look fat?
Here, I'll put it on, and you tell me.

Mmmph? Mmmmph?! murph moaf mmmmmmmph!

Thank you so much!

20th anniversary, general uniform, gas masks... may I sugest also some "spicey" gas ??

[lodilefty]

20th anniversary, general uniform, gas masks... may I sugest also some "spicey" gas ??

Beans, eat beans

[TheDoctorKing]

I always thought that the most successful relationship in my gaming circle was a couple where the wife brought the husband into (role-playing) gaming. She was a SF fan and artist and he was a chess player. She talked him into role playing, then he also took up boards-and-counters gaming. He and I played ASL in the '80's and '90's. He currently runs a game store in Athens, Georgia. And they're still married. Which is more than I can say for a lot of my gaming buddies.

I'm still with my wife of 16 years but she thinks gaming is silly and an imposition on her when I take off with my buddies and "leave her on the couch watching re-runs while I re-fight some war that ended years ago."

[Dixicrat]

True story:
It might surprise some of the people here to know that it was my wife who actually introduced me to one of my favorite wargames of all times: Gulf Strike. She and I met when we were both in the army; the only "problem" was, I was an NCO and she was an Officer! She and some of her buddies had all of the Gulf Strike map sheets spread out on a sheet of plywood on two saw horses in the day room of the BOQ. (Bachelor's Officer's Quarters). She'd sneak me in to watch the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait unfold... about roughly five years before it did in real life.

Don't let "Mae" fool you. Behind the charming ditz she portrays is a woman who has beaten me so often in chess that we just don't play it anymore. Except when I'm acting "a bit too big for my britches", as we say here in the south.

[Sol Invictus]

When I was in the Army and at Ft. Sill, my former wife and I did paint some Naploeonic minatures together, but I never tried to get her to actually play any wargames. Hmm, maybe if I did we would still be together. Nah, that's just kooky talk.